I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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im gay

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops