What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops