Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

thumb_up thumb_down -81

A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

thumb_up thumb_down +36

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops