Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Yo Mamma

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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