What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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Albert your flies undone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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