Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

Hey, you have small hands.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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