how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

Animal

A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

2+2= 478

when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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