Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

To whomever it may concern, You are currently reading this anonymous letter from someone anonymous. I’m currently watching you read this letter. I am not a threat. I am not Big Brother. I am someone anonymous. You will never find out who I am. You may have a few ideas of who this might be, but you will be wrong. Just know that I am watching you. That is all. I love you. All for Jesus -A

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

thumb_up thumb_down -34

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

thumb_up thumb_down -118

3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

thumb_up thumb_down +119

knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

thumb_up thumb_down +59

what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops