SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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