God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

Animal

Arrow to the Knee

So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

A baby seal walks into a club.

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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