a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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