What's bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

so a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hi Adam,

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops