Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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