What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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A hayride would be fun.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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The joke below me is retarded

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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