LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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