Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

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feminists.

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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Beka has AIDS

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What do you call a black man with a small penis? Aids free

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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