A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Vagina Boob

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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What do you call a gay black man? Whatever his name happens to be

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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