The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

So you have been really stressed lately huh?

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

One day a woman wrote a letter to her husband whom was at war. He received it, read it, and was happy to know she was thinking of him.

Why was the man sad? His brother died.

What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

I like poop in my butt

What's better than being rich? Not living in Kenya.

Okay, yeah red, but you wont ever get to see it because you have gone stale.

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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