Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Arrow to the Knee

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops