Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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A hayride would be fun.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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The joke below me is retarded

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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