Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Womens Basketball.

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How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

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Penis.

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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