what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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did you stub your toe?

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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Immigration Laws

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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Whats worse then a dead baby? 10 dead babies

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops