"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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