A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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