what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Why did the blind man walk into a shop He didin't walked into a wall

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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