A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I'm funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops