What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Jesus wept.

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Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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