Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Jesus wept.

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Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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11111

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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The economy.

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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