Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When you have read this, you've already read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

bangers and mash?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

kennah campion... being nice

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Who's the fastest kid in AA

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops