what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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