What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

thumb_up thumb_down -14

anti-joke teehee

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops