What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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Diana and victoria

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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The economy.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Knock knock

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops