- Anti Joke

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f* are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

Nero, sure you are okay?

96

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!