roses are red violets are too im bleeding

A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

why did the Mexican fall and not the black man. i don't know, go ask the Asian.

A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

Where's my baby??

What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

Good job, son.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

Roses are red, Violets are purple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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