Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Face...tastes like chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops