Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: why did the dad drop his baby? A: she was slippery.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Gordon Brown smiles.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops