Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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BUT HWY?

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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