A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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Yo Mamma

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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