FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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My nipple is bleeding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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