My wife has terminal cancer.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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Your mother is so fat.

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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i have cancer

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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