Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

My wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

BUT HWY?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops