A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

What's funnier than 24? 25.

why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

Where did John go? Refrigerator

MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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