Poop.

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Knock knock, come in.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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Netball.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops