Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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Why is there trees? Because they change color... Oh yeah and for oxygen by Burflared

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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