what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops