Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops