What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

thumb_up thumb_down -11

say it ten times fast: oh

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

NASCAR

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the white guy go to a black mans yard sale? to get his stuff back

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops