Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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purple pickles

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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why did the Mexican fall and not the black man. i don't know, go ask the Asian.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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Where's my baby??

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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