Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +26

clamidia

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock Who's there? You Whoa...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops