I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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i like pie

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Why? Because racecar.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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