What ryhmes with turtle rape

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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