How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

what's funnier than the holocaust. If it happened again.

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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