How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops