A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

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Ben Corbishley

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How high is the sky? True or False

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"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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