The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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YOLO

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops