A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Irish sobriety

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops