Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

Do you want icecream, Björn?

What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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